Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Nice vs. Kind

Nice vs. Kind – What is the difference?


Kind as defined by dictionary.com means…of a good or benevolent nature or disposition.

Nice as defined by dictionary.com means… pleasing; agreeable; delightful.

There are 259 references to the word “kind” and only four references to the word “nice” in the NLT version of the Bible according to Biblegateway.com

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesian 4:32 (NLT)

Isaiah 30:10 says, “Tell us nice things. Tell us lies.”

Let’s explore some of the differences between “kind” and “nice.”

Nice is about what the other person is thinking and feeling – it’s their perception of the situation. Kind is about what you choose to do and why. When you want to be nice, it’s because you want to please the other person, you want everyone to be happy. When you want to be kind, it’s because you want to do what is right regardless of how the other people feel about it. Nice manipulates. Kindness trains.

Kindness emerges from someone who’s confident, compassionate and comfortable with themselves. A kind person is loving and giving out of the goodness of their heart.

At the root of extreme niceness are feelings of inadequacy and the need to get approval and validation from others. Overly nice people try to please so that they can feel good about themselves.

Genuinely kind people are giving because it’s in their nature to care, and since they have not ulterior motives, they aren’t concerned with whether or not other people like them.

Kind people can be assertive and set good limits. Nice people, on the other hand bend over backward to be obliging. They deal with potential conflicts by placating the other person because they can’t bear to have anyone upset with them.

Kind people have good self-esteem and because they love themselves as much as they care about others, they expect to be treated with respect. Nice people are desperate for approval, so they’re often mistreated or taken advantage of.

Kind people take responsibility for their own self-care. They’re generous, even altruistic, but don’t get caught up in the user-pleaser type of relationship.

Kind people are happy people to be with, and add to their happiness through acts of generosity and altruism. Nice people are needy people who inadvertently create more and more unhappiness for themselves.

The nice person has to understand that their self-worth can never be improved by being a pleaser.

In order to change a dynamic, I have to first look at what I’m doing and what I’m able to control and change. I'm responsible before God and man, to be self-controlled and self-disciplined, and the requirement on me is kindness. Love is kind (I Corinthians 13:4 - Love is patient and kind) and God instructs me to be kind. If I'm not kind then I'm being disobedient to God.
Be obedient by being kind.





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